Date: 2008-01-04 23:41 Subject: there's nothing like deleting a memory Security: Public

 [hey]


i just want to be ok, you know?
but i guess that's not ok.


no one's ok.
i'm unable to help myself.


lolmk?

Date: 2007-04-08 15:30 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

lately, i've:

x started singing the ABC's at least ten times a day
x def. gone overboard with the texting/cell phone usage
x finished Gone With The Wind, all 1036  bible pages of small print
x watched every episode of Top Design on Bravo
x missed my iPod severely
x talked to sara mac, sammy, danielle and josh more than i ever have in my liiiife
x started to see things the way they really are
x become more accepting
x stopped with the dramatics
x been really mad, over nothing
 or
x haven't been mad enough over things
x gotten rejected from my almost summer job
x found out i have my first ever two cavities
x been afraid of getting them filled on Monday/Thursday
x just been plain upset.

so far, this break's been kinda sucky. all the good days have been ruined with cruddy things that no one cares about or cruddy things that only i care about or cruddy things that i don't care enough about. i miss my friends.  the one day we got to do something and actually go out, turned into the stupid day where people made bad choices. honestly, i've spent most of this break by myself, (EXCEPT FOR THAT EXTREME DDR)  reading that book, but i really wanted to get it done. it's one of those things that not everybody does, and it's honestly the best book i've ever read. it put me in my place, for sure.

Date: 2007-03-28 20:47 Subject: no thanks, i don't camp. Security: Public Music: walk through hell

i'm in another very frusterated mood right now.
reece has some pretty obnoxious friends, to tell you the truth. they came over right in mid-nap and kicked me out of the living room so i went in my room. then my aunt calls. the boys won't answer the phone. so i have to wake up out of a dead sleep, cross the house, answer the phone to tell my brother to get ready for church. ok. so i go back to bed. ten minutes later the phone rings again. so i get up, cross the house, pick up the phone and it's my aunt again to tell me that reece is gone. thanks. i probably would've missed that if i slept through that call. it was UTTERLY VITAL.
so finally once everybody's gone and everyone stopped calling i started my Gatsby. another chapter with imagery that makes me feel retarted. two pages into it, my mom comes home and is ready to ramble on about her day for a long, long time. i can't read and talk and answer questions. frankly, just not that talented. she gives me the run through about how i should be in church, and eventually leaves and i half-finish my Gatsby. then i cleaned the house and did some laundry while watching ANTM. then my mom and reece come home when i'm trying to complete the Gatsby and just talk and talk and talk and talk. and they never, ever stop. they fight and yell and can't even take it in the other room. YAY. then aunt donna comes over. "why weren't you in church?"
well. let me tell you about my day, and let you know why i didn't go to church.

Date: 2007-03-22 20:04 Subject: ich liebe das auto! Security: Public

and if i could swim.
i'd swim out to you in the ocean
swim out to where you were floating.

HEY DANIELLE.
we're the only people who post.
what up bia?
danke schon for the 'i tried' sticker
it's currently the background for my cellular phone.

i got a C on my Chem test, that i thought i did well on
what will my math grade be on a test where i know i did bad?
we'll just have to wait.
i'm SO PUMPED.

Date: 2007-03-21 16:31 Subject: super secret. Security: Public Mood: artistic

JUST TO LET YOU ALL KNOW
i love DANIELLE PHELAN x289347239847239847238409238409238409238409238409238409238409238409238409238409238402398403298402938409238409238230942309840238420382309432.
just that simple
D = DANIELLE
(not just my math grade)

Date: 2007-02-26 18:22 Subject: Say Whaaaaaaaat!? Security: Public Mood: accomplished Music: WALK THRU HELL:::say anything

Excuse me? 
What did you say?
Did you just say that SARA EILEEN LONG is happy, for once?
Did I just hear you say that she's not sitting around waiting for things to happen?
Did you just say that she's free of this?

YES
THAT IS WHAT YOU HEARD.
SPREAD IT AROUND.

SHE'S DONE feeling sorry for herself and everyone else and is going to see all of her friends and have a really good time. she's almost done with her junior year, and deserves some happiness after one year of deja vu. she's happy for you, too. because she knows you're going to use your time to it's advantages. SHE'S READY TO GET STARTED.

PS: i think i'm entitled to some immaturity. i'm only sixteen years old. i'm nowhere near finished.

Date: 2007-02-11 14:41 Subject: i hope you're not talking about banana cubes... Security: Public Mood: blah Music: Hey Italy :: Halifax

hmm. old livejournal.
not really sure what to say, because i'm very cold right now.
i watched stepmom last night with my mom and i cried.
and cried.
and cried.

oh sheesh.
yesterday: i stayed home all day. i did some laundry, played DDR and watched television all day. i was gonna go out but i started to feel nauseous all of a sudden and then just didnt feel good enough to go.
friday: i hung out with josh and danielle, which was pretty fun. i played some DDR and killed danielle, which was funny.
thursday: sound of music is eating my life. i waltzed for two hours and it was really fun.  i can't wait for the practices to become more frequent so i can have something to dooo.

man oh man. what can i say? i guess things are going the way i want for a change. but i cannot assume that. i can't start thinking that this is taken care of and i can't  start talking myself into what i want. i cannot stand to get hurt one more time. but i know i'll do it again and again and again.  hopefully that won't happen.


"No one in the world loves you like I do, and no one ever will."

Date: 2007-01-14 17:23 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Hope you live to be 100.
Hope you live to be 100.
Hope you live to be 100,
and then 100 more!

Date: 2007-01-02 17:23 Subject: you probably think this song is about you. Security: Public Mood: accomplished Music: i love Carly Simon

You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
Well you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me

I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and...

You're so vain

Date: 2006-12-22 23:04 Subject: teh sadsauce. Security: Public Mood: WORTHLESS Music: screaming, crying, horrible two year olds who don't listen.

i've never been more serious.
not even kidding.
but of course it's just not good enough
damn.
maybe one day i'll be good enough
but that probably won't ever happen
nope.
i better just get used to it
i won't ever be good enough for you.

Date: 2006-12-19 22:18 Subject: no joke. Security: Public Mood: awake Music: FESTIVE overture

I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles
I Will Dance Around In Circles

Date: 2006-12-15 20:24 Subject: who needs a subject when things blow? Security: Public

I CAN GUARANTEE YOU
that i am the dumbest person you know. i make the most mistakes. and say the dumbest things. i ruin the best of things and waste the greatest opportunities. it's 8:30 and i'm going to force myself to sleep because my life is such a fucking waste. the best thing in the world just left me for good. hopefully i'm just overanalyzing the situation again, but i would not forgive someone if they were like that to me. in that sense, i hope you're nothing like me. i deserve to be miserable.

Date: 2006-12-10 21:21 Subject: move along, like i know you do. Security: Public Mood: confused Music: googoodolls:: Black Balloon

headsup,kids.
it's mutual
but i'm a different person
-slow to trust.
-quick to laugh
-quick to forgive
-slow to understand reasoning..


(i won't read between the lines but if you're the first to write on the page, i'll compose you a novel) 

Date: 2006-12-07 21:47 Subject: What is Huck and Jim's plan to reach safe territory? Security: Public Mood: amused Music: britney fuckin spears:: TOXIC

my dad surprised me today. he was actually decent. and he was actually not stupid or irritating today. he's an interesting character.

exhibit a) MICHIGAN KIDS ARE HICKS

"You know, when I was 19, they changed the drinking age from 18 to 21, so we had Uncle Bill supply the beverages and we would sit on the banks of the good ol' Red Run and watch the sun set. Oh yes, good times."

exhibit b) GOOD KIDS GET THE MONEY

"Don't tell your brothers, but I slipped an extra $15 in your envelope just because you don't start fights at the dinner table and your homework's always done. Good work."

well pops, you're good for a chuckle and a fifteenspot.
haha. he's not bad everyonce in a while.


and it's way too bad that i'm incredibly naiive, and immature. 
thought  process.
it's an AMAZING concept.

Date: 2006-12-05 14:58 Subject: do you know what you're missing? Security: Public Mood: CHEER UP, DAMMIT!

YOU SPEAK A FORIEGN LANGUAGE_{ONE I CAN'T UNDERSTAND.}
i'm sick of being sad all of the time. so i think i'll stop now! you confuse the hell out of me, but the least i could do is be nice, right? i'll take this opportunity to enjoy what i can and accept what i cannot change. 
BOYS SPEAK IN RHYTHM_{AND GIRLS IN CODE.}

Date: 2006-12-04 21:07 Subject: my poor chapped lips.. Security: Public

TODAY I HATE
MATH
HOMEWORK
HUCKLEBERRY FINN
BAND
YOU
CONFUSING THINGS
BEING COLD
WAITING
TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE
BEING WOKEN UP
AP CHEMISTRY
STUPID, FAKE CHRISTMAS TREES
STUPID GIRLS IN ECONOMICS
BEING STUPIDLY FORGETFUL
BEING TOLD WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME
WHAT YOU SAID ON WEDNESDAY
YOUR INABILITY TO ACCEPT ANYTHING
EVERYTHING.



americasnexttopmodelseasonfinale. wednesday. myhouse. seventhirty. bethereorbesomewhereelse.

Date: 2006-11-29 21:20 Subject: but i really really really dont like youuu Security: Public

kimi quotes songs at me cuz she knows it makes me mad. i always think she's saying something profound and there she goes off with the crazy song lyrics as usual.
tomorrow's my birthday. why am i still sad?
tomorrow's my birthday. you wait all year for it and here it is.
tomorrow's my birthday. i'm not very excited about it.
tomorrow's my birthday. why can't i spend it with you?

Date: 2006-11-28 19:56 Subject: so mothers be good, to your daughters too Security: Public Mood: distressed Music: they call it the iPod shufffle

Start Time- 7:44
2. Name - Sara
3. Astrology sign- Sagittarius
5. Eye color - brownn
6. Favorite color - RED
7. Glasses - Nope.
8. Tattoos – Nope.
9. Hometown - fraser
10. Sibling's name - REECE

*HAVE YOU EVER*
12. Cut your own hair? no, but ive got hair cuts that look like i did it myself, they've been that bad.
13. Did you do something in the past month that you regret? almost everyday
14. Skipped school? no
15. Bungee-jumped? Nope.
16. Punched someone? just reece. hah.
17. Cheated on a test? once in drivers training..
18. Been arrested? naw
19. Broken into someone's house? not really, but i dont knock when i go to abby's
20. Been rejected? suure
21. Been to a funeral? Yep
22. Used a lighter? yes
23. Been on stage? Yes

*FAVORITE*
24. Season- when fall turns to winter, it's a whole season on its own
25. Food- Spaghetti
26. Ice cream flavor- cookie dough
27. Candy – im a kit kat girl
28. Breakfast – im good with cereal, any kind
29. person at the moment- that would have to be KIMI
30. Book – the awakening ;; kate chopin
31. Song –  whatever im in the mood for
32. River - THE NILE
33. Place – thats a seeecret
34. Sport to watch on TV – probably football
35. Disney movie- pocahontas
36. Disney princess- *seeabove. she def. does count!
37. Name for a son - not suure
38. Name for a daughter – kay or hannah

*DO YOU PREFER*
39. Chocolate or vanilla? vanilla
40. Coffee or Capp.? capp
41. Long relationships or one-night stands? long relationships
42. Dogs or cats? dogs
43. Scary movies or comedies? i like both, but scary movies are really fun!
44. Short or long hair on the opposite sex? depends on who you're talking aboutt
45. Croutons or bacon bits? croutons

*FIRST THINGS THAT COME TO MIND*
46.Chainsaws – that noise that they  makee
47. School – shit. homework
48. Cows – tiiip
49. Canadians – uncle tom
50 Mouse – eek!
51. Hand – small

*THE PAST 3 DAYS, HAVE YOU*
52. Talked on the phone? very minimally, but yes
53. Watched a movie? ive watched a little bit of a few movies
54. Cried?  yah
55. Smoked? no sir
56. Drank a glass of water? mmhm
57. Used drugs? no ma'am
58. Read a book or magazine? im reading A Farewell to Arms by Hemingway
59. Watched TV? what else is there to do?
60. Looked in the mirror? id have to say yes..
61. Taken a shower? one a day, keeps the smelly away
62. Taken a picture? yes
63. Listened to music? its like air, how can i not?
64. Told someone you love them? yeah, but it got accidentally got deleted...
65. how do they feel? i have no idea
Time: 7: 54

Date: 2006-11-28 19:09 Subject: i never see you around, anywhere or anymore, you are what im looking for. Security: Public Mood: cheerful Music: you shook me all night long

is there something separating us?
are we building it up or helping to remove it?
i say, bring on the demolition!


today i thought about the day before Maine. and the morning of.

Date: 2006-11-27 16:52 Subject: goodness gracious, great balls of FIRE. Security: Public Mood: awake Music: ooh none for now.

I MADE THE SOUND OF MUSIC!
everyone already knows this, but i felt the need to document it.
i want to be a nun and a neighbor an a nazi, but i know you cannot have it all.
i would basically scrape gum off of the seats in the theatre to do it, or at least just be a nun and a neighbor. ;)
SUCH A FULL SCHEDULE!
i walked into seminar today not having any plans for like a million years, and then as i left, so many plans got booked. i did sign up for Brass chior, and practice is starting, first one on wednesday. then ATL practice after school, and during seminars so i'll actually have to start doing my homework at home. wow. what a concept. and then the play will start eating up time soon...kinda. really can't come soon enough. i really dont like sitting by myself at home, and ever since..ive had enormous amounts of free time.
BIRTDAY!
on Thursday, November 30th, 2006, Sara Eileen Long will officially be 16 years old! i was more excited about it last week, and more excited than that a week before. the closer it gets, more i dont want it to come. the best and worst times have been when i was fifteen. im ready to leave it and start over but there are times i will miss, and miss right now. just like Cher.
89X STOLE CHRISTMAS!
i'm pumped about it. December 14th, Cobo. it shall be so fun. i really cannot wait at ALLL. My Chemical Romance, Ok go, Taking Back Sunday...sheesh i cannot even wait.  
THE END. 
tomorrow's another day.
like a butterfly, i will shed away my shyness and fear. 
it's a fresh, new start. and you dont know how happy it makes me.